Accepting Help While Living with Cancer

Accepting Offers of Help

We've all been there - someone says, "Let me know if you need any help," and because nothing specific is agreed on, nothing happens. Or perhaps you've received a beautiful bouquet of flowers that, while thoughtful, finding a vase, trimming the stems, and arranging them in water becomes another task to manage when you're not feeling very well, especially if you're in the midst of cancer treatment.

Here’s the thing: people genuinely want to help, but often they don’t know how. And it is really helpful to guide them. The truth is, only you know the kind of help that would make a difference for you. By sharing your specific needs with others, you not only get the support you need, but you also make it easier for them to help in a meaningful way.

Be Specific About What You Need

Think about what would truly ease your load. When someone offers help, they often say things like, "Let me know what I can do," because they genuinely want to support you but might not know how. Instead of letting the offer stay vague, try asking for something specific and tangible, like, "Could you pick up a few cartons of fresh soup or half a dozen eggs from the shop?" These small, practical requests are often easier for others to fulfil and can make a big difference in your day-to-day life.

Practical Help Ideas

There are many ways people can support you, depending on what you need most. Here are just a few examples that many of my clients have found helpful:

• Picking up groceries, collecting a prescription, or dropping off a parcel at the Post Office

• Collecting the kids from school, taking them to an activity, or babysitting for a few hours

• Putting out the wheelie bins, mowing the lawn, or watering the plants.

• If someone enjoys cooking, they could make an extra casserole, stew, or lasagna for you to have on hand, or even a batch of egg muffins or a few pots of overnight oats. Asking someone to drop off a ready-to-eat meal can be a big help

• Changing the bed sheets, doing a washing load, or ironing a few items

• Lifts to a clinic appointment or treatment session

• Dog walking or pet sitting.

For Those Offering Help

If you’re the one offering help, remember that the best support meets the person's actual needs. A well-intentioned gesture, like gifting a cleaning service for a couple of months, might seem like a great idea, but it’s important to ask if this is something the person wants. Some people may not feel comfortable having someone come into their home, even if the service would be useful.

Lots of people ask me what cookbook they can gift a friend who’s recently been diagnosed with cancer. My first question is: does your friend enjoy cooking?

Recipe box delivery services can be a brilliant help but check with the person to see if this would be useful for them. These boxes typically include step-by-step recipes and all the fresh, pre-portioned ingredients you need, with options for meat, fish, or veggie dishes. Here are some of my favourite providers:

• Hello Fresh

• Riverford

• Gousto

• Mindful Chef

Having a few ready meals in the freezer is another great option. Would this be helpful? If so, here are a few of my favourite providers:

• Après Food

• By Ruby

• Cook

• Frive

The Bottom Line

Accepting help isn’t always easy, but it’s important to remember that people genuinely want to support you. We’ve all needed help at various points in our lives. By being open and specific about what you need, you allow others to help in a way that truly benefits you. And for those offering help, taking the time to ask what is needed is so important.

Support Beyond Friends and Family

In my role in the NHS, I often work with social prescribing teams, and they offer a fantastic service! Social prescribing focuses on what matters to you - the things that can’t be fixed with a medical prescription - and helps you live the best life you can. They connect you to activities, groups, and services in your community that support your practical, social, and emotional needs, all for free.

Social prescribing link workers can assist with things like:

• Finding a club, activity, or group

• Overcoming loneliness or isolation

• Addressing housing, debt, or benefit issues

• Making lifestyle changes, like weight management, quitting smoking, or getting more active

• Managing long-term health conditions.

This short video explains social prescribing nicely: What is social prescribing? - YouTube

You can access your local social prescribing service through your GP surgery. Many services accept self-referrals. If a referral is required, often the receptionist or practice nurse can refer you, without needing an appointment with your GP.

Cancer Care Map

You can also use Cancer Care Map, an easy-to-navigate online resource that helps you find cancer support services in your local area, anywhere in the UK. Simply enter your location and the type of support you need – whether emotional, health and wellbeing, or practical help (like managing daily tasks or pet care while you're in hospital) – and you’ll see what is available nearby.

I hope you find these tips useful. If you have any questions or need more information, please feel free to get in touch.

Email: info@thecancerdietitian.com

Telephone: 020 8064 2865

Appointments: book here

The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered personalised nutrition, dietetic, or medical advice. Please consult your healthcare team for personalised advice and guidance regarding your specific medical condition or dietary needs.